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I don’t give a shit about grand gestures or flowers at my door, I just want your teeth across my neck and my lips pressed to the small of your back, I want your stupid fucking sense of humour making me laugh at 4am when I have to be up at 6.
— Unknown (via perfect)

daftlypunk:

i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”

Act my age?
What the fuck is that, “act my age”?
What do I care how old I am?
The Ocean is old as fuck.
It will still drown your ass with vigor.
— the greatest thing i have ever read (via seabelle)
Afternoon light

Afternoon light

ghost-of-augustus-waters:

Just passed a group of bros in the parking lot. They were all wearing snapbacks and muscle shirts. As I passed I heard their conversation. The one bro was arguing, “Naw man, Dumbledore was a terrible caretaker, he literally sent kids into fucking death forest for detention. Messed up man.”

donut-kun:

The proper response to street harassment

donut-kun:

The proper response to street harassment

rexuality:

me: wow this is fucked up
vagina: idk it’s kinda hot :|
me: vagina no
vagina: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

mishaissocoollike:

freemindfreebody:

deathbeforedigital:

raygun101093:

GAY TROLLING!

image

This is actually a pretty awesome tactic.

<3

The art of trolling for the good of humanity

x

mjwatson:

aliveandquivering:

PLEASE WATCH THE WHOLE THING

if you keep reblogging celebs dumping water all over themselves, even if you’re not, please watch this. please please please watch this.

ixnay-on-the-oddk:

My idea of flirting is making fun of each other until one of us fucks up and says something nice.

Go and get a job. Go and find a flat. Find somebody else. Put them in the flat. Make them stay. Get a toaster. Go to work. Get on the bus. Look at your boss. Say, “fuck”. Sit down. Pick up the thing. Go blank. Scream internally. Go home. Listen to the radio. Look at the other person. Think, “WHY? Why did this happen?”. Go to bed. Lie awake! At night! Get up. Feel groggy. Put the things on - your clothes - whatever they’re called. Go out the door, into work - same thing! Same people, again. It’s real, it is happening to you. Go home again! Sit. Radio. Dinner - mmm. GARDENING, GARDENING, GARDENING. Death.
— Dylan Moran’s view on life. (via thebrownqueen)

awkwardnarturtle:

i-mahu:

There’s two types of anger one is dry and the other wet and basically wet anger is when your eyes water and your voice shakes and I hate that cause I feel weak when I’m crying while angry I like dry anger when your face is like stone and your voice is sharp I guess wet anger shows that you care too much and dry anger means you’re done.

This is the best description ever

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